Don’t Blasphem Me

A few days ago I made a little nod to the rationalist movement growing in India, hoping that they will put up some kind of front against Vianna Stibal’s visit next year. Well, probably the most well-known Indian rationalist, Sanal Edamaruku (some of you may remember him as the guy who bet a tantrik that he could not kill him, and then proceeded to stand there and smirk while his opponent attempted to use dark magic to kill him, for hours, on live TV. Needless to say, Sanal is still alive, or I wouldn’t be talking about this next thing) has fallen afoul of blasphemy laws in India, and may have to go to jail.

Why?

Well, what makes a miracle? One would think that to make such a bold claim about something, some sort of investigation is needed, and in the Catholic church, that’s usually the case, although the fact that they’ve made some events official miracles tells you a little something about the vetting process, mainly that its not thorough enough. Well, a weeping statue of Jesus Christ was investigated by Sanal and found to be caused by clogged plumbing, far from a miracle and more like a problem that needs fixing.

Perhaps you would think that Sanal might get a nod from the church for doing their work for them, but that doesn’t seem to be the case, instead, having refused to apologize for revealing the true nature of the ‘miracle’, he may be facing a jail sentence.

Is an apology in order? Well, probably not, seeing as people were drinking these Jesus tears to try and cure themselves of their afflictions, it’s probably a good thing that they know that this is clogged up sewage. Yet still the apology is still the only thing that will get the church to drop the charges, apparently.

Should blasphemy laws even exist?

Should the right to criticize be a human right?

Shouldn’t the public’s safety come first, even before possible hints of the divine?

Gluten Jesus

I don’t mean to harp on about the Catholic church because besides from the really big controversy I tend to let their problems slide. They get a lot of shit and I don’t generally need to add to the argument, but I was talking with my fellow Teen Skepchick writers last night about a recent happening in Columbus where a young girl with celiac disease needed gluten-free hosts (body of Christ).

This seems like a reasonable thing to ask for, but apparently her diocese decided that because Jesus at bread that contained wheat that gluten-free hosts should be banned.

Does this sound like bullying to you, because I can’t think of a more appropriate word for it.

To be fair to them (as far as you can) they did allow low-gluten hosts but she thought they tasted awful.

Even with that aside however, surely the spiritual transfer of the soul of our Lord is not restricted by the amount of wheat you have in an object, but about whether it is blessed and part of the transubstantiation sacrament?

Or do I not understand my old religion as well as I thought I did?

Meanwhile, In Scotland…

This is something people in Britain seem to expect a lot more form Americans, due to the USA’s infamy in recent years in terms of hyper-religiosity leading to the kind of discrimination that builds so many straw men for those who would rather paint all Christians with the same brush rather than bother to come to some sort of reasonable opinion on what is still a large proportion of the human population. I realise I have yet to even make my point, so I’ll get to it. The Scottish cardinal (Catholic church representative for the country) as well as the church of Scotland are refusing to discuss gay marriage with the Scottish parliament (who are trying to get it legalized (for those of you who don’t know in Britain we have ‘civil partnerships’ which are basically marriages without the name marriage, so you’d think that minor legislative tweak would be an easy thing for people to accept right? Well when is anything that simple when you’re dealing with bigots, and bigots with power no less?).

The cardinal is claiming at this point that there’s no point even getting involved in the discussion because he keeps getting ignored. Well, I can’t say I’m surprised, when even a conservative leader like UK Prime Minister David Cameron wants to get gay marriage legalized it’s truly amazing how backwards some people’s opinions still prove to be.

The thing is, in this increasing secular society I’m not surprised that the adamantly religious are still desperately clinging onto some of the aspects of their faith that are next in line to be dismissed as open to interpretation, I really do. It’s easy to see non-religion as a threat when you believe that religion is the way to eternal life, I totally get that, I’ve been there.

What I don’t get however, is how this cardinal can sit there and basically tell the world that Scottish people who identify as both gay and Catholic don’t have the same rights as other Catholics. Is he in denial of the fact that there are gay Catholics? I don’t think so, but it’s easy to fall into that train of thought.

The most perplexing thing about this ‘debate’ however, is the fact that the messages that Christianity’s supposed to be all about, the love your neighbors, the turn the other cheeks, are completely ignored and replaced by a veil of bigotry and inequality that goes against everything this cardinal’s supposed to be preaching about.

Does he admit to being a hypocrite? I doubt that too, but I bloody hope that he can see it. Next he’ll be saying that women can’t be priests.

Jurassic Murgh…

Quick new thursday epic post before I fall into the abyss that you normal people call sleep.

Apparently I can’t write it at the moment but you know what it is, even if your printer has about enough ink to print out ‘help me I have no ink’ in ink language. For the sake of security I must enforce the truth that such a statement does not mean that I have been withholding the use of ink from said internet user’s internet; only that they could not access it themselves.

This is the world of the lord; and if you went to Catholic school, you shall know that it’s answered; ‘thanks be to God’; and thank Yoshi too, because cartoon dinosaurs are awesome.

It sucks.

People should love dinosaurs more.

Stephen Spielberg!

We demand more dinosaurs!

Gay Marriage Makes Pope Shit His Pants

On Monday 9th January 2012, there was a traditionally conservative stirring from Pope Benedict XVI, the figurehead of the Roman Catholic Church and head honcho of everyone’s favourite sovereign state, il vaticano.

Now, I’m sure nobody suspected that the pope would come out of his papal palace in a rainbow robe and claim that he identifies as a woman but it would seem that the Catholic church’s official stance on social issues is moving a little too slowly against the modern world, and for an organisation as archaic as the Catholic hierarchy, it does seem like the Pope is unaware of how many people he’s leaving behind with his message that ‘gay marriage is one of several threats to the traditional family that undermines ‘the future of humanity itself’’.

I don’t want to paint the Pope as over dramatising the situation, especially not when that would be so easy given the Lord of the Rings-esque risk he seems to be attributing to something with so few consequences in the negative, but it is rather difficult to see where he gets from the first half of his criticism to the other.

He begins with pointing out that it’s possible that it could change the traditional view of a family, and apparently forgetting that he’s supposed to be asking his followers to ‘love your neighbour as you love yourself’ he decides that a change in the definition of the nuclear family would undermine humanity.

That word alone is the crux of the insult embedded within Ratzinger’s statement.

Perhaps it would undermine the stance the Catholic Church has been taking for all of these years; perhaps it would undermine the bigoted opinions of many vocal people still unreasonably fighting equality, perhaps it would undermine a Bible verse or two, but to say that gay marriage would undermine humanity is frankly, an insult not just to the gay community, but, to use the Pope’s favourite brand of over dramatisation, to humanity itself.

It would be essentially an ad hominem to get into the paedophilia scandal to back up my opposition to the pope’s fight against equality between sexual orientations, but if I may I would like to make the simple point on that subject that the Catholic church is responsible for acts that have without question undermined their credibility, and to act as if gay people don’t deserve the same rights as heterosexuals when statistically Catholic priests are more of a threat to humanity, it shows I think, a great misunderstanding of the ethics the Pope claims to have the last word on (at least for the millions of Catholics on our planet).

Dust Off Your Bibles!

How many people have a Bible in their house? How many people have more than one?

And how many of you have actually read them all the way through?

See my point?

I’m sure there are a lot of books wandering around our houses that we never get around to reading but one as revered as the Bible should really deserve a read through, especially considering I’ve got at least three in my house if you’re counting the Gideon New Testament.

As a recovering Catholic however, I do feel as if part of my duty should have been to at least read through the giant book that was supposed to sum up the majority of my religion, and yet the only book I ever read all the way through was revelations.

Now I don’t know how many of you have actually read Revelations but it’s pretty insane, there are some nice twelve headed dragon invasions and thousands of people being sent to get tortured forever, and the damning of the false prophet etc.

It doesn’t exactly seem like it fits in with the rest of the Bible, it’s a bit like Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull in that regard.

God was trying to guide his chosen people to their destiny, then he told them to be nice and then he fought a bunch of dragons and damned the heathens to have to listen to Justin Bieber for all eternity.

In the same vein, Indiana Jones was fighting Nazis and suddenly aliens were his true adversaries!

So I was thinking maybe I should get around to it now, I know it’s a long book with a lot of dry text in it but it would be worth it to say I managed to get through it; I know quite a few people have, most of them either priests or atheists but I think it’s important to get a sense of perspective in these matters.

To the bookshelf!

Saint Valentine – The Sequel You Never Saw Coming

It has recently come to my attention, thanks to Catholic specific websites undoubtedly favourited by the pope himself, that Saint Valentine; very fittingly, considering the holiday he represents, is the patron saint of love, young people, and happy marriages.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

But seriously I know I said he really doesn’t have any reason to have a feast day centred around romance and I still stick with that; after all, many more men than him married Christians illegally, he died for trying to convert the Emperor of Rome; if anything his feast day should be celebrating stupidity, in fact, I wouldn’t consider being killed for shoving your religion in someone’s face (especially someone as anti-Christian as the older emperors of Rome) a reason for feasting, if anything it should be a reminder that we should all take caution when we’re around people who have the power to bloody murder you.

He’s also the patron saint of bees and plague, which both are not as nice as love; as such nobody celebrates valentine’s day by spreading plague, rendering the entire holiday into some sort of pestilence-encrusted apocalypse, although to be honest, that’s probably what a lot of single people would prefer to happen on valentine’s day, and as such, I request that somebody form a petition; make valentine’s day a celebration of pestilence and bees of all shapes and sizes, then you’ll still have the cutesy element, but the flavour of the event will be enhanced in a sea of death and destruction.

So, Saint Valentine; old school preacher, killed pretty inhumanely, attributed to ridiculous attributes of the world we live in, and definitely not worthy of being the figurehead of wuv.

Take that industry!

Anyway, Saint Valentine was both beaten with clubs and beheaded apparently, which makes me feel rather sorry for the guy, I mean jeez, could you not have at least finished him off with the first load of punishments? I know he was an idiot, but he wasn’t really a dangerous idiot; what they should have done was have him excommunicated from the church, then not only would he be devastated, but they will have basically done nothing and gotten away with it as a punishment, genius!