Visual? No!

Good morning friends and welcome to my little blog, a blog that wordpress has apparently decided to use its ‘visual’ writing system on, which has a lot of problems, and probably means that whatever videos I post in future are going to be a bitch to make appear on the page. Thank you wordpress for your infallible creative choices!

I’m sorry wordpress, I do love you.

But visual does completely suck.

Seriously though, how difficult can it be really to learn how to insert images into your post, because really that was the only html you needed in the old version.

I didn’t even have to use paragraph breaks, wordpress did them for me!

I wouldn’t even be having this rant-ish-type conversation with myself/the internet/wordpress right now if it wasn’t for the fact that I now write for Teen Skepchick, where the visual editor is already in place.

I still can’t work out how to get videos to work on it, and youtube gives you the freaking code to use!

What you should do when you upgrade your service is to make it simpler, and while you may think you have done that wordpress, you haven’t, you’ve just made it more awkward.

Not that I’ll blog somewhere else, I like wordpress and I refuse to use a blog site that actually has blog in its name on pure principle.

That’s right, I’m talking to you blogspot!

Don’t you walk away from me blogger!

Even though Alter The Press uses you…

 

Challenge Accepted.

WordPress gave me some pretty patronising advice to me the other day that I thought I’d take into account today. It told me something along the lines of ‘blog posts don’t need to be long and complicated, how about just a video of a picture.’

Despite the fact that wordpress’ now acceptance of the world blog in its spellcheck dictionary makes me very happy I was sort of confused as to why it would want us to make less effort, give its site less content and in the process become more and more like tumblr.

Because as we all know, I’ve never used tumblr.

So here it is wordpress, a sort of defiance if you will, I’ll write your shorter post, or at least I’ll begin to and then I’ll ramble on about how stupid it is that you want us to make shorter posts until this post becomes one of medium size and density.

After that I will continue to dance around the fact that I’ve finished my point, checking to make sure I’ve done enough words in this post to flick the vs at you whilst keeping to the mental target I usually set myself when I’m writing these.

But the spirit of defiance lives on within these last dwindling words as I refuse to do a short post, and by virtue end up writing quite a short post about how I refuse to do short posts.

Thus rendering this short post completely and utterly redundant.

Or impotent, that’s probably (ironically) a more potent word to use in this situation.

5 Second Survey!

Well WordPress you have yet to cease surprising me, just as I have yet to be able to spell cease properly since writing Caesar fifty or so times in the last couple of chapters of one of my work-in-progress books.

I would have you know that despite your 5 second survey, featuring the one question of ‘would you recommend WordPress to a friend?’ took me just over five seconds.

Mostly because I was expecting more questions, perhaps five that disappeared and gave you the finger if you didn’t answer them within one second of their apparition on your screen.

To be fair to you I suppose some people have an internet connection that limits them to only being able to answer one question in five, or maybe ten seconds, but you should really step it up for these sorts of things.

Obviously I chose strongly recommend, but that’s partially due to the fact that I was pressured for time, given that I, you know, only had five seconds and all.

Frankly, if I’d have had time to consider the layout changes in the last couple of months, the fact that my dashboard takes one second more to find now than when I started this blog and the fact that your spellcheck system does not recognise the words, ‘blog’, ‘WordPress’ and ‘spellcheck’ then I would have rated your otherwise very efficient website an eight at most.

Nevertheless I must keep in mind that your website reminded me that I was ‘lucky enough’ to participate in the survey, and however sarcastically you intended this message I took it as a badge of honour, despite the inaccuracy of the survey title, the main plus side of the survey being that it allowed me to write this post, a point which I’m sure you will get many complaints about due to its inherent silliness and stretching for content ideas.

finally, I’ll word your press.

The Birthday Blog

Let me take a minute here to say that I should have really pointed out last week that I did my 300th blog post, although due to my apathy towards the post that represented it I didn’t mention Sparta or anything of the sort, so to make up for it, I’m going to have to do a little something here.

Isn’t rectification sweet?

Anyway the time has finally come for me to retire my teenage years and bring in a new decade. Yes, 20 is still young I hear you say, but in a mind like mine as soon as I turned 18 death raised it’s middle finger at me and began giving me some sort of hellish striptease.

Once its codpiece is stripped from its crotch I’ll be less than a minute away from being six feet under.

Yes I’m being deliberately pessimistic. Simply put, if I revealed to the world the truth, which is that I’m pretty damn happy with my life at the moment, the world would surely break into a chorus of uproar at the fact that I’m writing a blog and I’m actually happy.

Because back when livejournal was the internet’s only representative of amateur bloggers the entries on there were truly horrific.

You’d be on there for half an hour and you wouldn’t find a single person who wasn’t bitching dramatically about one of their best friends or crying over how much daddy didn’t love them.

Thankfully I started on wordpress, and for all I could see of it there weren’t many upper-middle class people pretending that they lived the life of someone balancing on a rail of pain just for a pail of rain.

An obscure Bad Religion reference for you there, good luck catching that one the first time around.

Regardless, thank you for the well-wishes and I shall be back to drone my trachea off tomorrow.

Also happy birthday to this guy.

Blog Of The Century!

This is a blog, in fact wordpress is full of blogs, as you should probably be aware by now.

The best thing about these things, in my mind at least, is that they give everyone a voice, any individual with an internet connection and a little free time can create their own little toasty corner of the internet to spread their conversational sauce on.

In that way it goes hand in hand with podcasts as part of the rise of the individual, no longer do you need to be famous to get your voice heard, you just need a computer and a couple of minutes.

Now you may have noticed by now that this is an excuse to make a blog entry and I commend myself for thinking of the most obvious topic for a blog, for that I apologise, however, here are some blog ideas that I think you will agree are a little bit worse.

- The Beauty Of Socks – a study of socks and their various smells, stretchiness limits and capacity for comfort.

- Mole Diaries – A diary-like account of the daily goings on of a mutated lump of tissue.

- Doctor Ignorance – Someone claiming to be a doctor talks about things he doesn’t understand as if they are facts (sound familiar to you?)

- Amishblog – in which nothing is ever posted.

- golb – a blog in which all text is written backwards.