Why Usher shouldn’t invite 12 year olds to his parties

For anyone who doesn’t immediately understand that title and anyone who does and needs refreshing I refer you to this video.

The first ten seconds alone remind you immediately of an obnoxious prepubescent child who thinks he’s on top of the world because he’s discovered his first pube. How this could possibly make it into a professional music video is beyond me but here it is. Justin Beiber’s one time is a strange concept in itself; the very fact that this child’s voice will break in about a year and render his career over before it’s even started makes this even more ridiculous. In fact let me run down a list of the things that are wrong with this video.

1. Usher comes across as an almighty paedophile; ringing up the small child whilst playing a video game he obviously thinks he’s pro at with his massively gormless also small child friend and inviting him to ‘hold down his house until he gets back’.

2. The child is obviously an emo; the fringe is there, the false vision of everyone in the world thinking he’s awesome, the skateboard he obviously can’t actually use and the hoodie that shows off his fringe as if it were his actual forehead. The very fact that Usher knows this child is wrong; never mind that he’s using words like ‘homie’, ‘yo’ and other such words reserved for Dr.Dre, Snoop Dogg and people who actually make good urban music. Not to mention that he’s making an R’n’B song. That’s just bloody weird. Further proof that he is an emo comes when he describes his dream girl as being ‘so deep’ which is the emo equivalent of ‘hello darlin’.

3. The minute the child gets the paedo call from paedo Usher him and his mate get out their iphones (by the way, what twelve year old has a bloody iphone?) and proceed to invite hundreds of twenty year olds (who obviously should be very confused as to how some obnoxious child has got their number, they probably won’t like him either because he’s an emo child and everyone hates them, especially rich ones) to their party in the paedo house.

4. Throughout the video the child tries and succeeds to pull what must be at least an 18 year old and succeeds; there’s something very wrong with that picture. Never mind the police stopping the party, they should be taking her and Usher away and banning them from going near local schools.

5. At the end Usher returns and is completely k with the whole thing. What the hell? There was enough room left in the video to show him slap the kid and get everyone arrested for trespassing but no, he encourages him to carry on with the delusion of gradeur; probably because he is a paedo in his own right and afterwards if the kid’s drunk enough he’s looking to score.

6. Adding to a previous point; no white non-rapper is allowed to say homie and be taken seriously; it’s almost as prominent to the black community as the n word. I’m still searching for the scene where a gang from Compton come down the road and pull their shotguns on him but I guess that’d have to be aired after nine o’clock along with his funeral. Which of course only Usher would be attending.

Maybe next time I’ll be talking about how good a song is?



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