Considering that I got egged about ten minutes ago on my way back from The Pit and Pendulum I may be biased but what the hell is going on? I cannot understand one bit why egging someone is big or clever; wow you can buy groceries you’re so clever; wow you can throw it from your friend’s car; first of all, not only can you not drive, but your only skill is letting go of something on the way past, that’s not even throwing, that requires not only no effort but no intelligence; I live in Nottingham and some might say that that’s the answer to why I would get egged but no; my coat was expensive and I will not have it ruined by some stereotypical, unfunny, lost in life chavs; people whose greatest moment in life will be letting go of an egg in their friend’s car; why not let go of a glass bottle or even a water bomb, surely that would be much more humiliating, but alas, they are not even intelligent enough to do that, the only reason they use eggs is because they can spell the bloody word, why is Britain degenerating so much that the funniest thing to do is this stupid, grocery related assault; in the world I would create in my fiction, the humour would come by something much more dark and not grocery-related so I guess their malevolence is pretty Terrance and Philip related, and as such, they have no imagination; next time you throw something at me, make it something that might actually hurt me, because otherwise you don’t deserve to be classed as hooligans.

Edward Strickson, still pissed in more ways than one


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