Doctor Dolitteles

Lately I’ve been thinking a little about pet psychics. Not because they’re odd, no that much is already clear, but because of the massive assumption made besides the whole telepathy thing, could our pets really have the capacity to communicate with us if it wasn’t for their lack of human vocal cords and grasp of language?

In my experience with animals they only seem to be interested in food, sex and attention, much like a lot of humans I guess, but really are there pets that think through complex dilemmas all day?

Well no, because their brains aren’t large enough to process that kind of information, but that doesn’t stop people from making out like they do, as with everything.

Still, it makes more sense than rumpology (not for the faint hearted), made famous by Sylvester Stallone’s mother of all people. So can you read arses? Well it makes a lot less sense that talking to pets that’s for sure.

Maybe if she hadn’t had all that scarring plastic surgery she’d be able to see that she’s looking at arses and not at faces.


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