No ITV2 I do not want to.
Why is I can’t go on youtube without being targeted by the most retarded of adverts, first Justin Bieber and now this, will google ads never learn?
So today there is a huge banner in between the search bar and my subscriptions advertising ridiculously awful TV program ‘The Only Way Is Essex’ because apparently Jersey Shore was so thought provoking that jolly old England needed an equivalent.
Bear in mind, none of the cast would recognise this place as their home, despite the massive letters spelling it out to them, in fact I’m very doubtful that they can even spell their own names.
Now I like to think that humankind is smarter than this and that gym, tan, laundry is something you can laugh at, but apparently some people actually enjoy this kind of stuff.
So why is it that anyone would want to watch a bunch of orange, boob jobbed idiots with half a brain between them prancing around and telling you about their pathetic excuses for lives?
Does your life really lack that much meaning?
Seriously why are fans of this program not on suicide watch? Surely this is even more of an atrocity than the faux-tragedies of soap operas.
So apparently ITV2 knows that I want to.
That statement in itself is questionable because it not only assumes that I’m connecing that statement tenuously to the subject matter but also that it knows the mindset of the people reading the ad.
I do not want to.
If you’re going to assume everyone on youtube is practically a walking vegetable that’s fine, but don’t rub it in my face because I like to think I can actually think for myself.
In fact there are a lot of things I would rather do than watch ‘The Only Way Is Essex’, let me elaborate.
THINGS I WOULD RATHER DO THAN WATCH THIS SHIT
– eat my own face
– give a cow a colonoscopy
– agree with something Mike Adams has to say
– place my balls on a guillotine
– stand in the middle of the motorway with a sign reading ’50 points’
– pull out my teeth one by one
– attempt to climb a mountain using nothing but a toothpick and a cucumber
– wrestle a bear
– carry a train by my teeth from station to station and be more reliable than the current UK train system
I think I’m running out of steam here so before I go remember to fight the orange people and remember, that’s not racist.