Too Much Mayannaise

Thank you random commenter man for giving me something to talk about at early o’clock this morning, seriously I know that Satanic Drivel really didn’t have anything to do with the whole 2012 fiasco but I’m happy to be linked to even if I had no relation to that post, what I can see however, is that the article that linked to Satanic Drivel was reveling in factual inaccuracies and the site it’s featured on: namely, is even worse, so let’s go through this shall we? Take a deep breath because there’s a lot of stupid here.

First off, article that links to me at the bottom:

First of all the article says that 2012 is considered the end of the world according to the Mayan calendar, this initial statement and assumption is wrong, the calendar just happened to end there, what does this mean for us? Well it means this person is summoning their information primarily from their own noggin and brandishing a fact stamp every time they do, no doubt there are several stamped over their forehead at this point, nevertheless I will give them a chance to redeem themselves after their rocky start.

Well next they put forth that researchers have proved it to be true, when in fact there is no mention of this as the date of the apocalypse until recent times, following up in a long line of dates that all failed to end the world. Remember when the Large Hadron Collider was switched on in 2008? Wasn’t everyone up in arms about that? Well we’re still here, and the LHC is working without obliterating our precious planet, so why would the end of a calendar equate to such a prediction? Should the world not end every time January 1st rolls around? Now I know that’s not particularly a valid argument but that’s what we’re working with here essentially, the end of a calendar does not equal the end of the world, if you were around that long ago how far would you honestly extend the calendar, they were being a little optimistic considering their diminished status these days, and they didn’t manage to predict that.

Just to stick the nail in their coffin here they mention that the events of the Revelations book of the Bible are going to occur on December 21st 2012. Well then, we’re going to need to find a lot of people with the mark of the beast on them, discover who is the false prophet, I’m sure there would be a lot of controversy surrounding that one, and then when the twelve headed dragons come down then maybe I’ll start to take them seriously, but come on, talk about changing the theory to fit your ideology.

I mean how many things are supposed to end the world in 2012, surely they can’t all be right?

– coronal mass ejection

– collision with planet X

– the judgement of God

just to name a few, surely they can’t all occur at once, well I suppose they could but God would have a job getting everyone’s attention if they were being destroyed by a massive collision. Also their cell phones wouldn’t be working so well after a huge solar flare but what can you do? God knows.

The main page of this site however just cracks me up, the spelling is atrocious which is the first sign that you’re onto a good thing with these kinds of websites.

‘Based on researchers as well as technologists something unusual is definitely taking place behind the scene. The terrestrial as well as solar polar change peaks are arising within just 3 weeks of this day, Dec 21, 2012. Many UFOs are scouting the skies on a regular basis and growing as we approach that date. Our tectonic plate movement, underwater volcanoes, earthquakes, landslides and Tsunamis are growing at rates never observed before. The solar flames are generally increasing. The planet’s magnetosphere as well as ionosphere are going through unusual perturbations. The amount of typhoons and cyclones have increased numerous folds. The amount of innundations as well as droughts has increased beyond imaginations throughout the previous decade.’

I wish I knew what a technologist was.

Oh no, the polar change peaks are increasing!

Many UFOs are scouting the skies even though the existence of not a single one has yet to be proven!

Natural disasters are happening as if they don’t happen every bloody year!

Solar flames? Shit, I thought we were worrying about solar flares!

Increasing numerous folds? Maybe the cyclones and typhoons should be on a diet.

And I know that making fun of this guy will not change the fact that many people believe in this fear-mongering but seriously, find one theory and stick to it at least, that’s how your bullshit should work, because if you spread it too thin, well, then someone might accidentally think it’s marmite, and then it’ll be all over their mouth.

I had no idea where that was going either.


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