Times Sadly Behind Us (ish)

I would like to propose a new suit of armour initiative.

Not just because the things were inherently badass, the people inside were virtually indestructible, now I know guns could probably penetrate the loincloth space where the most sensitive parts of the human body lie but wouldn’t warriors encased in metal scare the crap out of any potential foe?

Soldiers would probably feel a lot safer and more willing as well, wouldn’t you? You might walk very slowly and you’ll probably be in a lot of pain but you’ll look like a genuine antique, some baron would probably jump at the chance to buy you and then your assassination mission can begin.

‘Tis not often that one gets the chance to dream so wildly but when the time does come ’tis a thing of beauty.

And while we’re on the subject whatever happened to using swords in combat? Aren’t they a million times more badass than the plastic guns the armed forces use today? Whatever happened to moustachio’d individuals with black cloaks and a sharp point overwhelming the oppressive majority?

When now if you have a sword you’re probably reenacting some long gone war from many generations back, and then you are classed as a nerd outright rather than a hero, no ladies swoon over the zorro figure these days, sure they like mexicans, but not with swords, the problem is however that the ab-wielding mexican is not sexy enough to make up for the lack of vigilante lust that the world is so terribly missing.

We should at least bring back castle building, modern architecture has nothing on the great overpowering structures of ages yore, whatever happened to ramparts, towers, moats, vast courtyards where you could watch your peasants and laugh at their lack of power and money, were those not the days?

If Robin Hood had been real he would be very upset to see the disappearance of the glorious world that made up the setting of his tales, but he probably wasn’t, and they’re gone, at least we still have cathedrals and ruins I suppose, although I still regret the transition from bandits to chavs, whatever happened there?


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