Nowhere Is Safe

My area is full of weirdos, and no I’m not talking about the ice cream van that just flew past my window on this incredibly overcast day, nor am I talking about the tories and my area’s general opinion on the electoral system reform, no, because I don’t believe I know enough about politics to really justify a good argument on my side, although for the record, fuck the tories.

A lady I met earlier today would not give 25% more of the sales of her donated items to charity because she thought she would be tracked down, when I told her that she would only be contacted if she ticked the box asking if she wanted to be, she hesitated and did the ‘no, it’s okay’ dance that a lot of these people do.

Seriously, you’re not special, you’re just like everyone else, you’re not so important that a charity of all things is going to stalk you and rape you in a back alley, there are lots of people supporting this charity, you’re not so special in the midst of all these supporters that you’re going to be followed. Seriously, I’m not sure if these people are insanely paranoid or just need to get their heads out of their arses.

In other news, I was looking through my local newspaper today, aptly titled: ‘west bridgford local news’. Trying to find something to do while I stared into space for eight hours in what some people would call a job.

I was somewhat surprised by and at the same time I was completely expecting what was a horde of snobbery and alternative medicine drivel. What should I have expected from such a place as mine?

Seriously CAM’s like some sort of mind AIDS, once you start noticing it it just keeps knocking you down until it eventually leads to your death, of course this is not the most accurate of comparisons but you understand I’m sure.

Seriously West Bridgford is ignorance is bliss such a strong philosophy for you that you would wish to hinder the increase in life expectancy by happily promoting practices that are utterly unproven and in the most part, completely contradict each other, just for the novelty of feeling like you’re fighting the pharmaceutical industry. You’re not helping, I’ll tell you that much now. Reading this makes me want to write another verse to that Mike Adams song I wrote yesterday, and by the way, if anyone has a drum machine, can I borrow it so I can play that one live? Thank you.

Anyway as I was saying this newspaper, in between telling people to ‘think sceptically’ in regards to scams and bogus deals, without any hint of evidence or irony tells everyone to go out and use: Chiropractic (Rushcliffe wellness trainer writes book), homeopathy (spring mum’s seek help from homeopathy), holistic treatment for pregnant women (mother nurture antenatal classes provide the solution for busy parents to be), hypnotherapy (get help with your dieting) and acupuncture (help your health, fitness and well being), to be honest this makes me feel like being sick.

The premise of these articles is a small anecdote of someone using the treatment (besides the latter which is merely an advertisement), not even including the results, and the incredibly basic premise behind the treatments, most of which they don’t even bother explaining to a degree which would make the nature of the practice clear.

But what amazes me is that no-one seems to question this, they just absorb the information and accept everything they here without thinking for even one second that something in that sushi smells a little fishy.

So, make me proud West Bridgford, say no to bollocks and say yes to sense… please, for the sake of my sanity…

Think for yourself and kittens to you my friends.


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