Placebo Industries

I think we collectively should open an alternative medicine chain simply entitled ‘placebo industries’, is that not just perfect?

Obviously there would be no pretence, we’d let people know the shit we were selling didn’t work and then we’d be able to wave our hands around, jab them with needles etc. to our hearts’ content while they attempt to convince themselves that we were just lying with our disclaimer and that we don’t know that we can essentially do magic.

And that my friends is how you run your very own fraudulent business that isn’t fraudulent, simple enough really.

But to be honest, eyeing up our competition I can suddenly see that they’re not even trying to tell people that they’re unproven, in fact, they’re rubbing the false efficacy of their products in peoples’ faces, should these consumers not look up what they’re about to dive arse first into?

Apparently not, they’re walking away with empty wallets and shifted chakras but that infection’s still there and it’s only a matter of time before it catches up again and they’re forced to go to the real doctors who they openly express their disdain for, forgetting that in this country we actually have free medical care, whereas they just paid premium costs for utter bollocks.

So who’s the idiot here? Well we are for calling ourselves placebo industries, surely we would make much more money if we lied to the public from the get go like our competition seem to be doing, is this not the way forward? Well, it doesn’t seem very ethical but the world of business is harsh and if you want to make money you’ve got to stamp on as many balls as possible right? I mean by the time Alan Sugar got to his position the soles of his shoes were positively covered in semen were they not?

So we change our name and our company rises to the top, people write the truth about thus and we shut them up.

What better way to quell the righteous protesters by threatening a lawsuit they can’t afford to pay? It’s their fault for not thinking of this first after all, and the victims of our thoughtless crime surely know what they’re getting themselves into in all fairness do they not?


Down with placebo industry.

Every time your wallet is emptied for the sake of some unproven pile of steaming horseshit, well, a kitten dies.


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