Another Brick In The (Berlin) Wall

Somehow I feel like it’s an injustice for me to be talking about certain topics.

I mean I’m not a newscaster, the responsibility isn’t on me to be spreading whatever I find interesting.

The responsibility that did fall to me however, was to write 300-800 words a day about something completely and utterly arbitrary, or, if not, something that I’m very passionate about and everyone else is completely indifferent.

Well, know we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about the Berlin wall.

See what I mean now?

Initially a barbed wire fence, it became a wall which spread for nearly 160km.

Now, I don’t know about you, but if I was the western powers I’d get a little suspicious about that…

I’m not calling up any distrust or actually anything remotely political, I just think that when someone builds a hundred mile wall you should probably ask them what they’re doing, and when they say extending their communist regime you can say…

Well, do you have planning permission?

Because I assure you, if people have trouble putting a conservatory up in their back gardens Stalin would have had a much bigger job getting the planning permission to build an extension of his communist regime in East Germany.

The conversation would probably make for a good sketch but I am neither a comedian or an actor so I probably shouldn’t make an attempt at it. But it’s so tempting…

I’ve actually neglected to mention here how many neighbours would complain about the view, my God that’s something Stalin would have had to take a long time working around.

I mean, if people get fussy because there’re wind turbines on a hill potentially helping to slow down global warming even if just a little, and not actually looking too shabby doing it.

Well, I imagine those same people wouldn’t be too happy with a hundred mile wall being built to last as far as the eye could see and creating some nice spectacles of murder and repression when people try and break over it.

Yes, Joseph Stalin should have really thought this through a lot more.

I’ll tell you what he should have had built, a moat.

Nobody complains about moats, gives the Germans an opportunity for a nice swim and you wouldn’t need to keep armed guards there either.

Why?

Because moats are a great place to keep your crocodiles.

Which are apparently abundant in Europe.

Yes.

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