Surely congratulating kids on dressing up like scary things by giving them candy is a counter-intuitive idea?
Think about it, you want your child to grow up knowing that scaring people is wrong, so why would you possibly want to condition them to dress up as the scariest thing they can think up in their admittedly inexperienced little minds and link it to food rewards?
This prolonged and ridiculous experiment has gone on long enough.
We should have enough of a pool of data right now for children to be going into big stores full of haribo dressed as cthulu and expecting to be able to steal all of the oh so tasty candy without consequence.
And remember current and potential parents, stealing is wrong.
And you’re encouraging it.
So I’d like to take a moment to suggest things that children could do to get candy that does not involve conjuring up a raggedy costume made from a deformed mixture of old clothing and their own cheese-induced nightmares.
And trust me every time I see someone dressed as Michael Jackson I am haunted by this thought.
So, it’s the 31st of October, your child wants to give your elderly neighbours a heart attack by knocking on their door and demanding that they hand over the few remaining nice things they have in their life.
What should they dress up as?
And death is not the answer here, if you have to ban any costume please do not pick the ever-so-tempting reaper. You’re already going to scare them to death, scaring them with death is just one step too far.
Here are a few ideas that might be more suitable.
– a careworker
– your neighbour’s childhood teddy bear
– an extra large pizza
– a collection of well-meaning greetings cards
– a pantomime horse
– a particularly large ear of cauliflower
– a marks & spencer gift certificate
See how much easier your child’s life will be with these alternatives?
Good, now put them into practice you terrible influences.