Christmas Abs

So this lovely comment is from Robert Downey Jr. Workout.

No relation I assume Mr. Workout?

‘Are you ready for great abs now?” Now is the perfect time to get the abs and trim waistline you have always dreamed of but haven’t been able to have. Having sexy abs or a trim waist is one of the best ways to not only turn heads while you are at the beach or pool, but also to feel better about yourself.’

So is this really the time of year to be trying to get me to get sexy abs?

How likely am I to be hanging out at the beach or the pool on the 23rd of December?

And I’m sure even down under people eat ridiculous amounts at Christmas, so is it really a good time to be reminding people to feel guilty about their traditionally delectable gluttony?

In any case I’ve never been the kind to turn heads, especially due to my lack of ability to gain anything even close to abs or a trim waist.

While we’re on the subject, how does one begin to trim a waist?

If you’ve got a mop down there I’m pretty sure there’s something wrong with you and if this is referring to fat, how are you supposed to infer getting rid of fat by ‘trimming’?

Surely burning or losing would be more appropriate.

And I would argue that trimming has worse connotations than those admittedly negative sounding words when it comes to the idea of trimming underneath someone’s skin just to get their fat out, I mean how are they going to grow back the skin when you’ve lobbed off huge pieces of fat?

I wouldn’t call that a trim, but I suppose that’s pretty far from what they were actually going for there.


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