Everybody Wants To Be A Cat!

So while I was out on a stroll today I wandered into a WH Smiths and don’t ask me why but I took a quick peek at the cover of a magazine that was called exactly or similar to ‘cat weekly’.

Now, I’m not exactly the kind of person who would buy this magazine but I’m sure that at least some of those that do should have a problem with the article that was emblazoned on a strip of text on the front cover, a tease for the tasty morsel that lay inside; and like most cat food, it smelled a little fishy to me.

So here’s a question I’d like to raise to you.

Could it be that the woman featured in the article was a cat in a past life?

Now I’ll just let you think over that for a couple of seconds while I clarify that this was a major part of the article at hand, one that basically explored the ‘cats have nine lives’ thing as if it were almost literally true, suggesting that humans could have once been cats, cats could have once been humans, cats could have been other cats and lizards could have been monkeys ad infinitum with an entirely speculative mechanism that apparently all cat lovers are supposed to just take on face value.

The reader is told to imagine that every living thing has a soul, an easy enough endeavour considering the background of our culture and the beliefs held therein.

Then we are told to imagine that every soul is like an ant in an ant colony, ‘part of a colonial mind’, and that we are just one part of that mind, transmitted as a soul into a body that just happens to be able to speculate about this with an entirely credulous sense of perspective.

Now, I’m not suggesting that magazines about cats are the first places people should be turning for sanity, there’s probably a stereotype to be enforced somewhere in here, however, surely you can find better stories than this? This is a whole species of animal, isn’t Tiddles going on a rampage and taking on a Chihuahua a much more interesting story than someone, probably meaning well I’m sure, that believes that she used to be a cat?

Because frankly, if you’re going to lick yourself clean you should probably be forced into a shower, nobody wants you to smell like the curry you just licked all over yourself through your non-cat-like tongue and lack of flexibility.

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