The other day I received another leaflet from the Jehovah’s witnesses, telling me to go to their next meeting and find out what Jesus is up to at the moment.
It would seem that the world didn’t get hit with a giant meteor like the last guy to hand me one told me it would, so I suppose that’s a plus.
But I find it hard to trust the divine authority of a group who portray Jesus in three different forms on the front of their leaflet and draw them all as white as Boris Johnson.
The leaflet asks me how I see Jesus and then gives me three options:
a) as a newborn baby
b) as a dying man
c) as an exalted king
For some reason option d, a lot more arabic than the artist’s impression wasn’t present in my list of choices, but I suppose it’s not just the witnesses that make that mistake.
However, you’d think if they’d really witnessed Jehovah they’d be able to draw his son a little more accurately. Surely that’s just common courtesy?
I mean, you wouldn’t offer to draw Obama’s children and then paint them all white would you? You’d get some awfully weird looks, and you’d probably not be hired again in the future.
So take that into account Jehovah’s artists, more accuracy please, I’m sure there’s plenty of stuff about his appearance in scripture.
But just to clarify, I probably won’t be going to your meeting.
It’s not that I don’t think you have good intentions, it’s just that you said that you’ll basically just be quoting scripture, and as a man who is in possession of several Bibles and has read a fair bit of it himself I think the purpose of your meeting is a little redundant.
I hope it’s a good one though, keep knocking at my door but next time don’t be scared away just because I’m in my pyjamas. It’s like you don’t even want to cuddle.