Caucasian Messiah

The other day I received another leaflet from the Jehovah’s witnesses, telling me to go to their next meeting and find out what Jesus is up to at the moment.

It would seem that the world didn’t get hit with a giant meteor like the last guy to hand me one told me it would, so I suppose that’s a plus.

But I find it hard to trust the divine authority of a group who portray Jesus in three different forms on the front of their leaflet and draw them all as white as Boris Johnson.

The leaflet asks me how I see Jesus and then gives me three options:

a) as a newborn baby

b) as a dying man

c) as an exalted king

For some reason option d, a lot more arabic than the artist’s impression wasn’t present in my list of choices, but I suppose it’s not just the witnesses that make that mistake.

However, you’d think if they’d really witnessed Jehovah they’d be able to draw his son a little more accurately. Surely that’s just common courtesy?

I mean, you wouldn’t offer to draw Obama’s children and then paint them all white would you? You’d get some awfully weird looks, and you’d probably not be hired again in the future.

So take that into account Jehovah’s artists, more accuracy please, I’m sure there’s plenty of stuff about his appearance in scripture.

But just to clarify, I probably won’t be going to your meeting.

It’s not that I don’t think you have good intentions, it’s just that you said that you’ll basically just be quoting scripture, and as a man who is in possession of several Bibles and has read a fair bit of it himself I think the purpose of your meeting is a little redundant.

I hope it’s a good one though, keep knocking at my door but next time don’t be scared away just because I’m in my pyjamas. It’s like you don’t even want to cuddle.


One response to “Caucasian Messiah

  1. Jehovah’s Witnesses proselytizing is a scam.

    Straight up doctrinal facts on Jehovah Witness.
    The Jehovah’s Witnesses teach preach that Jesus had his return aka second coming October 1914,then they spin all sorts of doctrinal embellishments on that date with 1918 being their appointment by Jesus as sole heirs of this 1914 Kingdom coming.
    They have infighting,crime and child abuse as bad as any church out there.
    Have a deadly dogma prohibiting whole blood transfusion but use cow’s blood calling it *Hemopure*.

    They teach only 144,000 go to heaven,on and on and on with made up man made dogmas……JW are a spin-off of the second adventist and have this in common with the SDA.

    Jehovah’s Witnesses promotion of their Watchtower sect has the net effect of stumbling and turning people off to the real Gospel.
    Jesus said: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel land and sea to win one proselyte; and when he is won, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves” (Matt 23:15)

    Danny Haszard born 3rd generation Jehovah’s Witness
    *Tell the truth don’t be afraid*

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