Kittenfest 2012

I had a recent complaint about the lack of kittens in my recent posts, and while I don’t appreciate the fact that this defers from my writing and that every single kitten video and picture on the internet has already been seen by everyone and their mother… well, I thought I had better make it up to you all.

But what could I possibly do to fix the kitten count on this blog? I’m not about to just post a load of videos of kittens or my girlfriend will call me lazy.

Let’s start on some safe ground should we? Something you’ve all definitely seen before, just so we know where we stand.

Let me then ignore the atomic kitten videos that come up when you search for kitten and just say that I’m glad that group split up.

Although knowing that left space for one direction, the wanted and rizzle kicks makes me want to throw up until atomic kitten get back together.

But enough about terrible bands.

You know, when I look up the evolution of a species I get caught up in the intricacies and can’t look away, hence why I just spent twenty minutes looking up the evolution of cats and then bears. This is what happens when I try to provide some actual, useful information on cats.


Okay, if you’re interested, here’s the cat family tree, notice the dog-like carnivores buggering off quite fast because there’s not enough room for them on the diagram.

Let it be known that caniforms are generally more awesome because it includes wolves, bears, seals, walruses and weasels.

What have you got there feliforms? Some cats and a hyena?

Bitch please.

Because oversized pictures aren’t intrusive at all!

Now, I will admit here that I thought cougars belonged to the panthera genus, along with tigers, leopards, lions and jaguars, but I was wrong. They exist in a separate genus.

Something I did know however, was that cheetahs belong to a separate genus, with the distinction of having non-retractable claws.

That, and being horribly inbred, sorry cheetahs but I can’t ignore that since you went through that population bottleneck you’ve been getting very friendly with your sisters.

Don’t look at me like that, there was a choice, what about getting captured and taken to a zoo? I’m sure you and that captive cheetah share barely any recessive genes!

Alright, enough with the nerd talk and on with the kittens.


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