Continuing with the feline theme today I would argue that Ocelots are far superior to the ‘kittens’ the internet so reveres. Surely when compared to bringing in adorable mice and slaughtering them the domestic cat is far inferior to the Ocelot of the South American rain forests, who you only see on occasion, hunts like a pro and is also good for a squee?
Take a good look and weep internet, remembering that the Ocelot is actually the largest species within its genus.
Take back your lolcats and your various kitten-related content and weep at what you’ve been overlooking. This is no beanie baby, this is real, and you’ve all ignored it for too long.
Well I won’t allow you to overlook it any longer.
Also, ocelots spend a lot of time in the trees, which is awesome.
It makes them one step closer to being the kitten/monkey hybrid the world has been crying out for.
It also puts the cat getting stuck up a tree to shame. The ocelot would never have to be rescued by something as not-awesome as a fireman, it can get down the tree using its own awesome self.
And on top of all that, as well as being adorable and arboreal it’ll take down anything up to its own size and ravage it like your cat only wishes it could do to those mice…
Mice that outsmart the cat by hiding under the oven.
The ocelot would bitchslap the mouse and then eat the cat to boot…
And just in case you were wondering about where the obligatory metal gear solid reference was going to come into play…
Ocelots eat snakes.
That’s right, they’ve already made the joke for me.
Now sing along.