Caturday

Good news everyone, I’ve finally tackled my coursework pieces, so now I can do the rest of the stuff I’m supposed to get done over the last couple of days before I return to the horrors of examinations and assessments, please, feel free to send me mushrooms, for I doubt they will have grown for the business coursework I have to do.

Yes, despite the fact that I’m taking a course in biological sciences, go figure.

I’ve talked a lot about kittens over the last two days, largely in response to a complaint on the lack of them, but I fear there is little more ground to cover on the merits of our fluffy, feline friends. Truly, once we have stared at them for long enough, don’t they just begin to seem lazy, sadistic and narcissistic?

I suppose probably less so when they’re still juvenile because they’re distracting you with their huge eyes and tiny bodies. But I assure you that’s just a ruse to get you attached to them. Before you know it they’ll be trying to jump on the flat screen TV and maliciously watching your fishbowl, scouting for a weak point in the inhabitants’ fishy defences.

Do not trust them with your fish, stroke them like a dog and watch them squirm.

And then move your hand away before they scratch you.

And when comparing their level of badass with their cousins in the panthera genus it just seems as if their mouse genocide is a futile attempt to try to live up to higher levels of badassery.

A tiger can swipe a man’s face off with a single swipe of its paw.

What can you do kitty?

Leave a gash and hope it gets infected?

No, I didn’t think so.

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