Sunday Hangover: Freshness

Today’s Sunday segment is brought to you by the letter H and the number 9.

Now aren’t those sponsor’s so much nicer on the ears than Listerine, McDonald’s and Danone?

I thought as much, and that’s (admittedly very low on the list of reasons) why I’ll probably never get paid by Listerine to say nice things about mouthwash on this blog.

Not that I have a lot of nice things to say about mouthwash anyway, it’s pretty defunct as long as you brush your teeth and don’t have naturally honking breath and it’s easy to spill all over you if you sneeze while gargling it.

Has that ever happened to anyone?

Is that even possible?

Someone get me a gargling/sneezing expert over here and bring me a few case studies; we’ll sort this one out once and for all!

It strikes me as a little odd that humans seem to have picked mint as a universally accepted nice-thing-for-your-breath-to-smell-like when there are so any other smells out there that are probably nicer slash cheaper.

I’m sure I can’t be the only one who likes the smell of chocolate, bacon, sausages, even garlic I love the smell of, but maybe I’m just an odd person for liking the latter.

Perhaps I should refrain from admitting that if there was a perfume that made you smell like a kebab shop I’d probably be pretty hard pressed to find a criticism for it rather than: ‘well that’s a little unconventional’.

I also wonder how much freshness is relative.

There are a lot of stinky people with boyfriends/girlfriends who don’t seem to mind that their partner has the odour of a rotting fish in a bowl of parmezan cheese, and the perfumes that I could literally be happy with just sniffing all day are described by others as smelling ‘weir’.

Frankly I find that much more disturbing than the idea of mouthwash that makes your breath sell like garlic.


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