Hello again children, I’m back and I’m still not going over the news because I’ve got too much work to do. You can rest assured however, that I’m pretty sure the Queen’s still alive and still sitting on that sparkly chair we put so much stock in, even though the iron throne is obviously where it’s at. I mean, how are you supposed to prove your worth as a monarch if sitting in your chair isn’t putting you in danger of death. In short, the Queen never cut herself on her own chair, Joffrey on the other hand, did. And who is the better monarch? If you have to answer that question, then you’re even more cynical on that subject than I am.
So salutations, it’s a bank holiday both today and tomorrow, and I’m pretty sure that’s because the Queen wants me to get fat. What other reason could there be for shutting my gym two days in a row other than to prevent me from doing exercise. Obviously the royals have a vendetta against me. You know, because I’m so well known on the internet…
But really, do banks need more holidays? Don’t they have life easy enough already? What about we call it a lazy day and everyone goes into work but just does their job really poorly? I’d love to be served at KFC by a nonchalant teenager with disdain for my choice of chicken, but I suppose that’s just not what the Queen wants. Not that I can picture her being pleased that the booze aisles in Sainsbury’s are the only ones covered in the union flag bunting.
(sp? Nah, it’s a stupid word anyway, any misspelling I can offer will be doing it a service if anything, and I’m certainly not going to look it up given what might appear if I mistype it.)