Sunday Hangover: My Idiotic Past

Right then, to business!

I’m losing a sort of grasp on the days of the week here, so I almost forgot that this is supposed to be my nonsensical post for the week. This passed me by partly because I’m not hungover, partly because I was actually thinking about finding some hot-button issue to talk about, and partly because I’m just a bit of an idiot. Excuse me, let me rephrase that, I’m a lot of an idiot.

So let me share some of my idiocy with you here today.

The day after I learned to ride my bike I crashed it into a bridge and had to go to A & E, I still have the scar but it’s shrunk a whole lot.

In my first band we were so bad at agreeing on new stuff that we spent over a year with our entire repertoire consisting of Metallica’s ‘Enter Sandman’.

I once wrote a letter to J.K. Rowling suggesting that her next book be entitled: ‘The Secret of Slytherin’; this would have been some pretty impressive predicting had ‘The Chamber of Secrets’ not already come out and I hadn’t already read the book. She wrote back regardless, I don’t know what she saw in me.

I wrote a song last year that was thoroughly praised by a couple of my peers, only two weeks ago did I realize that the main riff is exactly the same as the main riff in Kasabian’s ‘Shoot The Runner’.

I spelled independent as independant until embarrassingly recently, the same goes for equipment and equiptment. Don’t ask.

In my original playthrough of Pokémon Crystal as a child, I was raising a tyranitar until I was convinced by someone that I needed a fire pokémon on my team instead. I listened and got a magmar.

I had been taught about mutation so badly in my younger life that I thought that the cancer and X-men mutations were the same thing, subsequently I thought I could cure cancer and create superheros in one fell swoop. This dream did not last.

I once ‘played’ through an entire game of mario kart at my next door neighbor’s house without my controller being plugged in, they were playing it instead of me and I had never noticed the switch. From this experience I learned that people are cruel and you can’t trust anyone.

When I first picked up a guitar I put all my fingers on one fret and strummed for a good ten minutes thinking it was the most awesome song in the world. Thankfully I’ve grown a more musical ear since then and can play three chords.


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