The Olympic torch is coming to Nottingham this week and might I just say that I wish I gave more of a shit.
I like the whole anti-xenophobia aspect of these worldwide events, I’d like some more money to be poured into the country’s economy and I’m very proud that my brother’s going to be a team leader at the Paralympics, but still I find it hard to care about a torch being run around the country.
Sorry everyone, but I’m far from a patriot, and if you take it through Nottingham all you’re going to get is a lot of people asking the runners if they can borrow their lighter.
And on this day we will light a thousand cigarettes with our ceremonial torch!
With climate change out to get us at this point we should probably avoid the whole ever burning flame thing; perhaps instead we should do something else, something greener. I mean how hard would it be to pull of some sort of cross-country tree planting? I’m sure the distinctively non-British Will.I.Am would still take part and Muse could still do it, even if a forest would look a little odd on the piers of Teignmouth.
Perhaps we would be better off if nobody ran with it at all, I’m sure that nobody in Britain would object to a record breaking game of pass the parcel; even if the prize in the middle is so obviously Olympic torch-shaped.
I’m sure that such an event would block less roads as well, because I for one don’t need to be running along a busy high street to rip forth a bag of haribo from an over-sized parcel.