Me Vs Elves

The fires are burning once again. The signal has been given to the men of Rohan. The blog is coming to aid them at helm’s deep.

Hello there, I don’t expect that any of you think I would have helped at all in a battle against thousands of orcs and uruk hai, especially when compared to legions of immortal archers with pointy ears and an unhealthy obsession with sailing that goes so far as to convince them to leave Middle Earth altogether, presumably in favor of a life of piracy on the high seas.

It would explain why Orlando Bloom was in Pirates Of The Carribean in any case.

I also doubt that I’d be more useful than a legion of Harry Potter-esque house elves. They’re quite handy with knives and I’m sure most of the infantry wouldn’t see them coming, although they’d have to beware of being crushed, especially if they want to survive to fight the crush-heavy mumakil.

However, I would argue that when it came to fighting against legions of inherently evil soldiers, I would be of better use than the elves from the Santa myth. Certainly they’ve shown ingenuity in the past, but I just can’t see them having it in their little hearts to hurt anyone, no matter how naughty a boy they’ve been in the past year (and in the case of some of these soldiers I think a sack of coal is in order at the very least).

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