Not Now

Hey internet, how are you doing?


Yeah, I’m not feeling great, but you already know about that.

When you spend so much time with a person that it feels like they’re apart of you it’s really difficult to come to terms with the fact that it can’t stay that way forever. Sometimes real life gets in the way and tells you that your path stays in one place while theirs goes in another, and if you want to get to the prize at the end of your path it would be a shame to waste the progress you’ve made running down theirs for the sake of a bond. The world will keep turning, they’re still a part of you, but they’re a part that’s firmly in the West, and you have unfinished business in the East.

There was a time when these things didn’t cross your mind, when this was the future, a vision years and years from your happiness and rife with the unspoken hope that there was another way, that education didn’t mean moving on. But behind hope there’s always the nagging feeling that things will turn out the least favourable way. If everything turned out perfectly there would be no need for hope, it would be a lost concept only used in fiction and in sarcasm.

I could use the time I would have spent with the missing part of me being productive, giving more hours to the projects I already set out many hours for a week, but I can’t bring myself to do it, there’s something missing. Time will only tell how well I readjust.


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