How To Write An Essay

Sorry I’m late, if late’s a thing with these. I had duties to attend to, like playing the new Pokemon game and recovering from yesterday’s escapades.

I’m going to be diving headfirst into an essay after this (well, that’s the plan, I try not to bellyflop in education because then my chances of getting into an MRes course will probably be significantly lowered) so I need to get into the right mindset. How about a couple of dos and don’ts from my experiences doing this sort of thing.


– reference appropriate sources, although avoid Daddy’s sauce, it still counts as collusion.

– plan your essay beforehand, because planning it after just won’t help you at all.

– build on what you already know, although if that’s nothing you might need to install new foundations as well.

– proof-read when you’re done; this will help prove to you that you’ve actually finished so you can sleep at night.

– take a break when you’re stuck, struggling will only make the glue stronger.


– not do an essay; this may sound obvious, because it is.

– doodle on your essay, as representative of your argument a cock and balls might be.

– pretend you know what you’re talking about, because your essay will read like republican science standards.

– sign your paper ‘anonymous’, or the computer science guys will get credit for it.


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