Nice Boobs

People on the internet, y u no realise how creepy you’re being?

This is why I should stay away from the internet, I can’t help but read the comments, and more often than not, the top-rated comment on anything with a woman in it is something akin to:

‘nice boobs’


‘there’s a space in my bed with your name on it’

And as if it wasn’t bad enough that there are people in the world that think this is a reasonable thing to be posting, the fifty or so likes on the comment, if anything, shows me that social ineptitude is fucking rife.

I mean, I thought I was bad at talking to people, but compared to half the lurkers on the internet, I’m a smooth talker, it’s ridiculous.

Who upvotes this?

Who goes on youtube, watches a video about, say, video game news, thinks ‘wow, those ladies have terrific mammaries, I’d better let them know’, or ‘I’d better not say anything insightful about the topic of this video, these women obviously don’t realise that they have breasts, and it’s my job to point out that they’re there, just sticking right out of their chests’, goes to the comments section (wow, this sentence should have ended a long time ago), sees that somebody’s already risen to the task and thinks, ‘I like that you ignored everything these women were saying and focused entirely on their bodies, truly we are of an ilk, I must let you know that I agreed that these women definitely have boobs, and I like that you noticed’?

Apologies, obviously my grasp of the English language is failing me today, blame my hangover. Even still, wow.

I want to have faith in you, humanity, I really do. Please help me out by showing me that you’re worth smiling about.


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