Stahp

It’s not been a productive day today.

Let’s turn that around, shall we?

For someone like me, who struggles with their weight, isn’t a fan of sports, and for whom all hobbies besides going to the gym (which I don’t count under hobbies, because the enjoyment in it comes from the outcome, not the activity itself) involve sitting down for hours at a time, sometimes it’s hard to find the time to get rid of the weight that’s bothering me, especially given students generally can’t afford treadmill desks (I want one, somebody get me one for Christmas and I will be forever in your debt). There’s no easy way to blog, audio edit, write story or do coursework without sitting down unless you have tables of the right height, and our world is built to make things easier for us, so naturally things are designed with comfort in mind, not the fact that someone might actually need to feel discomfort when a desk is in use.

In brief, I’m not happy with my body, but who is?

I suppose some people must be, but I’m not, and I’d like to be. It seems it takes me months of work to notice a difference one way and one week of slacking to notice a huge difference the other way. This may sound unreasonable, and I don’t doubt that my obsessing over fluctuations is a pointless endeavor, but I can’t help it.

Food should stop being so tasty.

Fun shouldn’t involve so much sitting down.

Getting enough exercise to make a difference shouldn’t take so long it gets in the way of other things.

I should use up energy more quickly.

I should stop whining.

I can’t help it, it’s just getting to me recently, and honestly, it’s not making me more motivated to change, it’s only making me feel down.

I’ll stop now, you can get on with your days without having to read about the woes of some nobody from the internet.

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