The favorite buzz word of many a person, a scapegoat for everything that can go wrong with you, toxins. Whereas toxic chemicals will obviously not do you a whole lot of good, the industry that has built up around the fear of toxins has failed to realise what a great job evolution has done in providing us with a way of flushing out most of the bad stuff that invades our bodies throughout our lives. Obviously we don’t catch everything or we’d be Tolkien’s elves, immortal but for our tendency to die in battle, but we catch enough that detoxing isn’t necessary. If we do get enough toxins to require them flushing out, we should be hostpitalised, because believe me, just drinking juice won’t help you if you’re poisoned to the point where you need assistance.

A number of years ago there was a news report going round about the number of toxins in sofas, and subsequently there was a bit of a scare, but there are rarely deaths attributed to poison from sofas, and even when it comes to people who spend all their lives on their couches, they generally become obese before they become poisoned. There’s also becoming a potato, but that’s less of a disease and more of a weird colloquialism.


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