Pigs – why does God hate them?
Out of all the animals to call unclean it baffles me that it would be pigs and shellfish that take the heat, when pigs at least are relatively clean creatures (I have no idea how clean shellfish are, but they do live in water so I imagine they’re, as Outkast would say, ‘so fresh, so clean’). How does a creature even get ‘unclean’? Surely if God created all of these creatures he wouldn’t intentionally create animals that he thinks are too disgusting to stick in your mouth? Perhaps God is a vegetarian and thought that, if he could at least discourage people from eating bacon, so much of the deliciousness of meat would be forfeited that the rest would be soon to follow, although in that case, you would have thought he’d have the foresight to call fried chicken unclean too, because everyone knows that’s irresistible, especially to drunk people.
I’ve met a lot of humans in my 21 years and some of them have been far more unclean than even the trampiest pig. In fact, if cannibalism wasn’t something we frowned on in this society, when they died I’m sure we’d all understand what unclean really was and the Abrahamic religions would have an epiphany they hadn’t seen since Muhammad.